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Post by Francis Bonnefoy on May 14, 2012 10:52:32 GMT -5
Francis stared at Arthur, tears springing in his eyes. Still, Francis never looked away, just gazed at Arthur steadily. What Arthur had said was true for Francis as well; he missed the pirate more than he could bear, and it hurt just to be this close to him.
Francis took a deep, shuddering breath. How could words truly convey everything he felt - fear, hopelessness, anger, pain, and the overwhelming swell of affection?
"What are you trying to say, Arthur?" whispered Francis. He was frozen, unable to move, bound to only look at the pirate. "I have asked you this so many times, and each time, you've given me a different answer. But I want the truth, Arthur. The final answer, once and for all."
He swallowed, trying to keep his voice steady. "What do you want?"
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Post by Cpt. Arthur Kirkland on May 14, 2012 14:03:42 GMT -5
Arthur looks down for a long, long moment.
What does he want? He wants to be out of this grief, he wants to never have this guilt overbearing on himself, he never wants to have hurt the children, to have let them die... He wants to have a normal life, he wants to forget everything that's happened to him, wants to forget how cold and cruel a creature he is. He wants to be loved, he wants to have a family, he wants to have a place he can call home...
Francis still went out and searched for the children, was still hopeful when Arthur had lost it all, had found at least some of them and brought them back. He'd made sure to care for them in the first place. He still took Arthur in when he was sobbing at his feet, burnt and injured, even though he'd broken his heart. He still kept after and cared for him even though he's seen the worst sides of him, still wanting to just make him feel better, telling him time and time again how none of this is his fault, how there is nothing to be ashamed of, how everything is okay...
Arthur's voice break, and his lips tremble.
"Y-You... I-I want y-you.... F-Francis...." He cries, reaching out for him.
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Post by Francis Bonnefoy on May 14, 2012 14:18:57 GMT -5
Francis had heard that answer before, and had seen Arthur himself prove it false. The cautious voice in Francis' head warned him that this was the same thing happening again, that this time was no different, that Francis was on the same path to heartbreak...
But Francis couldn't bring himself to refuse Arthur's embrace, to doubt him, not when the pirate seemed to mean it.
He could have meant it last time too, the voice in his head hissed. Francis ignored it. He gathered the pirate in his arms and crooned to him softly.
"It's all right." He rocked them both slightly, forwards, backwards. "Hush, it's all right. I know, I know..."
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Post by Cpt. Arthur Kirkland on May 14, 2012 14:24:13 GMT -5
Arthur trembles in the other's grasp, gripping ahold of him. He was weak, he was tired. He was weighed down with grief. He couldn't handle much more. He still felt like the worst person in the world.
"I-I'm s-sorry --- F-Francis I-I'm sorry -- P-Please -- I'm s-sorry -- forgive me---"
He didn't know a thing about love. He wasn't supposed to. He'd grown up without a family, and had been nothing but abused by the only figures of authority he'd known. He was only just getting a handle of it. Francis had been the first one to open it up to him. He couldn't let himself lose that. He just couldn't.
"I-I'm s-sorry---i-it's all m-my fault-- I-I'm s-stupid-- i-idiot--"
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Post by Francis Bonnefoy on May 14, 2012 14:36:52 GMT -5
Francis drew back slightly, pulling his arms from around Arthur. But he did not let go; he simply took Arthur's hand in his.
"Arthur." His voice was soft and coaxing. "Learning and being unsure does not make you an idiot. It is not something you have to ask forgiveness for."
Francis caught a stray tear on Arthur's cheek with a finger, then brushed back a lock of hair from Arthur's eyes. He sighed.
"Why don't we go back to the room, clean up, and greet the children properly? They've missed you too, you know."
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Post by Cpt. Arthur Kirkland on May 14, 2012 14:59:28 GMT -5
Arthur sniffs, but as soon as the children are mentioned he freezes, eyes widening. He shakes his head, almost backing away back into the wardrobe.
"N-No --- p-please, F-Francis, please --- I c-can't face them -- n-not yet--- please ---"
He sniffles.
"A-and n-not a-all of them a-are there y-you know that r-right--"
Which means..
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Post by Francis Bonnefoy on May 14, 2012 15:06:53 GMT -5
Francis squeezed Arthur's hand reassuringly. "You don't have to see them now," he said quickly. "It's all right. I'll just tell them you're much too ill. But I hope you know that they are as concerned for you as you are for them."
The haunted look was beginning to creep back into Arthur's eyes, and Francis hated it. He had to comfort Arthur before he lost the pirate again, just when he was starting to put Arthur back together, slowly.
"They're not all here, yes," said Francis, "but they will be. As soon as I'm sure you're resting and that the children are comfortable, I'm going to look for the others. I'm going to bring them all back home."
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Post by Cpt. Arthur Kirkland on May 14, 2012 15:15:57 GMT -5
Arthur whimpers, realising something.
"W-What about the baby--t-the---"
Before he can find himself again, he folds himself back into Francis' arms, burying his head against the other's shoulder.
"I-I don't know i-if I can face t-them--"
He'd let them get hurt. He hadn't been able to protect them....
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Post by Francis Bonnefoy on May 14, 2012 15:23:52 GMT -5
"The baby made it, don''t worry." Francis allowed himself a tiny smile. "You don't think Alice will let anything happen to her brother, do you? She's the best sister that baby can have." He patted Arthur's hair. "The last time I checked, the baby is sleeping. He's in the bassinet in my sister's old room."
Francis sighed, knowing that Arthur was on the brink of despair again. He had been gentle and understanding with Arthur, but now Francis wanted Captain Kirkland back. It was time to be a little more firm with him.
"Arthur, listen to me: you can face them, and you will. You have to, and if not today, tomorrow. You love them, and they love you. You will have to find a way to see that this is not your fault to be able to take care of them again." He paused, then added in a gentler tone. "And I am here to help you."
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Post by Cpt. Arthur Kirkland on May 14, 2012 15:39:57 GMT -5
Arthur simply sniffs to himsef, relieved. He's not quite ready to gather himself yet. He still hurts everywhere. He shakes his head.
"I'm not a hero..." He murmurs. His shoulders seem to relax.
"I-I...I-I'm tired..."
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