A New Beginning (PAST) [Closed, Lili & Gilbert]

[Lili Walser]

It had been three days. Three days... Three days, four hours, seventeen minutes, precisely, since she'd found out. Since... since her world had crashed down around her. S-Since... s-since she'd learned that Mutti and Vati would not be home for dinner that night... or for any night after.

She wasn't sure what was to become of her... she was only thirteen. Only thirteen... far too young to come into her inheritance yet. Far too young to live on her own.

A soft sob tore itself from her lips as she buried her face in her hands again, tears sliding through her trembling fingers. She was sitting in the window seat, shoulder pressed against the cool glass, though she could have been tucked away in a corner for all the attention she gave to the outside world. The outside world had taken her Mutti and Vati away... what reason did she have to pay it mind now?

... their funeral was tomorrow.

She wasn't sure what to do. She didn't know how to manage...She didn't know.... sh-she... she didn't...

The household staff didn't know what to do, either. Similarly to the young mistress, they'd adored Master and Lady Walser. Granted, it wasn't nearly to the same degree - but they were all saddened with their passing... their murder. The saddest thing of all was young mistress Lili... She wouldn't come out of her room. She would hardly eat... she barely slept for crying. It wasn't fair, wasn't right, for Lili to lose her parents like this - in any way, but certainly not this.

(Because the last thread was haunted or something.)

[awesome]

It had been three days. Three days…Three days, four hours, seventeen minutes, precisely, and he’d only just found out. He’d been out on deployment. It was to be one of his last as a commander, he was proving himself ‘worthy’. Worthy of this shitty military, this force that was suppose to protect and defend. This legion that had caused him to do the very opposite. He had no idea where Ludwig was, he’d been out on deployment for months, months so he knew. He knew Lili was alone. Alone for three days, four hours and now twenty three minutes.

That was more than long enough.

Gilbert brushed past everyone he met in the corridors of the base. It was all he could do to keep his jaw clenched and not lose his temper on anyone that spoke to him, just casting them seething glares that stopped any of them in their tracks. He wasn’t supposed to leave. He had things to do, things for his promotion, but he already knew he was no longer taking the rank promotion. Being a Captain would mean he’d be gone more than he was already. That wouldn’t work. It just wouldn’t. Not now.

Once he was off base he hit the streets at a run. It would have probably been faster to catch a buggy, it would have probably been smarter too, as he ran down the streets looking like a mad man, or that he was chasing someone, someone invisible, but Gilbert’s single-mindedness his comrades knew him for had taken over.

...their funeral was tomorrow.

That poor girl. His poor cousin. Lili. She had no one. No one. It had been three fucking days. How was she? What was she doing? Had she cried? He needed to know. He needed to be there. May the Gods damn his job and the ruthian bastards that did this.

He hit the outer gate to the house with his shoulder, knocking it open with a loud clatter, and took the few stairs to the door with a leaping gait. He didn’t knock but threw the door open as Sebastian, the poor butler, unlocked the thing seeing him coming. With one look at the man, he was pointed to her room. And he continued his rush up the stairs, breath labored, chest burning, but it didn’t matter. He knew what he had to do. He couldn’t make things right, Gilbert knew that. Things would never be right again…but he’d do all he could to try and makes things at least the tiniest bit ‘better’.

Reaching her door, he stood outside it for just a second to collect the storm in his mind and to catch his breath. Swallowing, the albino gave a small knock, as a warning, for he proceeded to open the door, but just stood there, etiquette for some reason, finally kicking in, looking at the sight before him.

“…Lili?”

(It really was. Stoopid thread)

[Lili Walser]

Her sobs quieted to soft sniffles moments after they'd started. It wasn't like she had many tears left... she didn't have many tears left - she couldn't... It didn't make sense. How could she cry for three days, and still have tears left? Listless, she leaned her head against the windowpanes again, grateful for the cool glass even if she wished that the world would just leave her be. She... she wanted her Mutti... a-and she wanted Vati... She wanted her parents home.

If nothing else... she wished she'd gone with them... m-maybe that would have changed something... A-and if it hadn't... she'd still be with them.

That thought had her composure crumbling again. Once more, she hid her face in her hands, her sobs silent. She heard, but didn't pay attention to the gate outside; for all she knew, it could just be the wind. And if it was a visitor, the staff knew what to do and say. She didn't want to see anyone. She didn't want to see anyone! Last time she saw someone, her life changed. She didn't... she couldn't... sh-she wouldn't. She wouldn't!

The knock on the door got no reaction either... it was probably just Sarah. But the voice that called her name...

G-Gilbert?

Sniffling softly, Lili peeked over her hands, her eyes tear-reddened. She was paler than usual, though there were dark circles under her eyes. For several moments, she sat, then all at once, she stood and crossed the room, throwing her arms around Gilbert. "C-Cousin... M-M-Mutti a-and... a-and V-V-Vati... Th-they're..." But she found she couldn't continue, and just buried her face against his chest as she sobbed, clinging to him for all she was worth.

[awesome]

He opened his arms and took her in, holding her tight as she broke down into his chest. "I know Lili....I know." He couldn't help but cradle her like something fragile, for it felt that was exactly what she was. A fragile, hurt little girl, whose live had already been shattered, Gilbert didn't even want to think of all the cracks it had caused in this child.

"I'm so sorry..." the words were barely a whisper. Bending his knees slightly he scooped her up and held her as if she were smaller, slowly carrying her to her window seat, sitting himself on the ledge. "I'm so sorry, Lili.I'm sorry this happened...I'm sorry I only just got here..." He gently stroked her hair , resting his cheek on top her head as her small frame shook within his embrace. He wanted to say something, something, anything, but words failed him. So he did the only other thing he could think of, rocking her slowly, letting her cry it all out, rubbing soothing strokes down her back, as he let her sobs breach the otherwise silent room.

He'd hold her as long as it took.

[Lili Walser]

She felt safer, now that Gilbert was here. He held her while she cried, he didn't seem to think she oughtn't be so upset, that she ought to hold her composure with guests, as some of her father's family had. Her aunt had chided her tears.

It wasn't until he picked her up, sat with her in her window seat, spoke softly and let her cry, that she finally felt that maybe... maybe she wasn't going to shatter and break apart at any moment. It was probably near an hour, though the small blonde wasn't keeping track of time, before she was cried out. This time, she just felt hollow. Hollow... but... but maybe not as alone as she'd feared.

"I... I'm s-sorry, Cousin... I... you m-must have just gotten back... a-and you..." He was still in his uniform. The same uniform that she loved to admire Vati in... "You... came straight here..." Her eyes rose from his jacket to meet his, though she didn't move, didn't attempt to sit up. "... I'm sorry... I... Y-you're probably hungry... a-and tired... I... I'll r-ring for Sarah..." It was then she paused. "O-oh... Unless you would... you would rather eat at home..."

[awesome]

The amount of time they sat there was not of importance to Gilbert, and each tear that dampened his jacket and slowly bled through to his chest, set him in his decision all the more. He sat quietly as she cried it all out, wondering how maybe 'high and mighty' guests had come to give her 'condolences' but did it only for appearance's sake. How many people came and told her "Oh you poor thing, we're so sorry for your lost", how many people came and rubbed salt in the wound but wouldn't let the dear girl truly, try and let out some of the hurt because of 'formalities'. He'd rested his cheek a top her head and drew his head up and she slowly quieted, and shifted, listening carefully to her words.

He took in everything she said, listening to her soft murmurings and practiced politeness, he knew it was engrained in her, and waited for her to finish, but also noted that aside from looking at him, she made no move to get up or leave his lap. If he thought about it, he was hungry, and very tired. Running the distance he did was no easy feat. But he wasn't thinking about that. It occurred to him that perhaps Lili needed to eat, so he would gladly agree to food, yet it itched at him that she was apologizing for his choice to rush to her aid.

After sitting there for another moment, thinking, with a soft intake of air he responded with an even voice, “Something to eat sound great, and I’ll eat here, but first, Lili, we’re family. Of course I came straight here.” He cupped her cheek, his expression mimicking the gentleness of the touch, “Don’t apologize to me for my decisions. I’m sorry you’ve had to deal with this all by yourself…that I couldn’t be here sooner.”

He stood, shifting Lili in his arms, carrying her as if she were years younger. “Come on, let’s get something to eat. I have some things I want to discuss with you about your future, but I’m sure we both need to eat.” Making sure he had her securely, it wasn't hard, she was so light, he started for her door and into the hall, heading them toward the dining room, calling ahead to a maid before him they were coming down to eat, and watching her scurry ahead to tell the kitchen staff.

[Lili Walser]

Her hand shakily rose to attempt to dry her face of tears as they sat. If she thought about it, she'd realize she hadn't eaten anything substantial in days... a piece of toast here, some strawberries there, a salad, some pecans, some cheese. She just couldn't bring herself to eat more. She wasn't ever hungry... not anymore - and before Mutti and Vati had.... well. Before, she hadn't been altogether much of a big eater anyway. She was always very thin, something that both pleased and worried her family.

Gilbert's voice shook her out of her reverie - though she still stood by the fact that she wasn't hungry... she'd just keep him company in the dining room... it was so big and empty to eat in alone. She knew. She'd done it. His hand against her cheek, his gentle expression, the apology... all together almost served to sever the ties she'd put around her emotions again. "C-Cousin... D-don't apologize... y-you were busy... a-and away... I..." She'd managed... mostly.

And then he'd stood, carrying her as though she were a child. How many times before had he done this? She didn't know... but it had been often, when she were younger. Though she was fretting at the impropriety of it all, it made her feel safe. And security was something she'd been missing over the past few days. "O-oh... n-no, Cousin... I-I'm not hungry..." She protested, but it was a weak protest. She did need to eat something... she'd only had a few berries and a piece of bread this morning, and that was hours ago.

"M-My future...?" The words felt strange coming out of her mouth. She wasn't sure she'd have one, after... and then Aunt Walser... but she didn't want to live with her aunt... her aunt was the one that had berated her, in front of other guests - truly sympathetic guests - for crying. If Aunt was like that as a guest... what would she be like as a guardian? Lili was scared to find out... but she'd have no choice, if no other family wanted her. Her breath, even until now, caught then shuddered out silently. ...If no one else in the family wanted her... she'd have to live with Aunt Walser - she couldn't live alone. It wasn't proper. Especially not until she'd reached her majority.

In the kitchen, the staff was both startled and delighted that Miss Walser might actually be coming down to eat something. And knowing the elder Beilschmidt's preferences, quickly set about making a meal that did not include any chicken of any sort. The results would be a re-warmed beef roast that Miss Walser hadn't eaten the night before, some boiled and mashed potatoes, and a salad of fresh greens from the small garden out back. For dessert, a strawberry tart, topped with plenty of fresh strawberries.

[awesome]

Gilbert carried the small girl carefully, as he slowly descended back down the stairs. Readjusting her, not because of her weight as she was far too light to be a burden, but because her large floofy skirt was a bit slippery, the albino headed toward the servants already ready to seat and serve the young miss and himself in the formal family dining room. Completely ignoring their bewildered faces as he bypassed them all, Gilbert continued down the corridor toward what was usually, and strictly, the servants' part of the house.

He nearly ran into Sarah, a serving girl only a few years older than Lili herself and danced around her in a fashion not too different form stumbling awkwardly before he pushed forward, ignoring the fact that they were starting to trail behind him, he chuckled as Sarah remained behind his elbow, politely asking 'Just what was he doing'. He grinned at his little cousin, she had a feisty servant, and called back to her and the others, "Bring the food back to the kitchen!" He just repeated his statement, his tone a bit more firm, when Sarah stopped and uttered a confused 'W-what?' Glancing down at Lili once more, a Cheshire grin spread across his face at her puzzled face, but he continued on and into the servants' kitchen.

While even he knew what he was doing was far from 'proper', (contrary to popular belief, Gilbert had the knowledge of decency and proper manners) not a single fuck was given. The albino was sure as hell he was not going to be the one to make poor Lili eat in in a room where her parents would have been waiting to dine with her just days earlier. No they would ease back into that room, maybe save it for special occasions. Oh yeah he still needed to bring that up...hrrrnnn.... After dinner. First some food in this girl.

Heading toward the servants fairly large, although much shabbier than the one in the dining room, dinning table, he set the young blonde to her feet and pulled out a chair for her. "Sit down darling we're eating in here. In fact..." He looked around all the startled and confused faces all around him and cleared his throat causing them all to pause and turn those looks onto him. "I'd like to ask everyone who has not eaten yet to join us for dinner. This is your space, I know...but please let us dine with you this evening." He didn't want to spell it out, and even if they told him no, he wasn't going to budge. Not eating in the dining room because of obvious reasons, was something he hoped was obvious enough. He'd also brought Lili here so that he could actually get her to eat. She was a light eater normally but he needed to get some food in the girl and knew that if more people were eating she;d eat more as well. Scooting her once she sat, he took the chair beside her, feeling a small wave of relieve as some, still confused but obviously awesome, servants joined them at the table. Once his meal was set before him, he licked his lips and began to dig in, giving Lili a slightly pointed look as a plate was set before her as well.

[Lili Walser]

Lili didn’t protest, didn’t speak, as Gilbert carried her. He wouldn’t have put her down anyway, at this point… and even if it was improper… she didn’t really want him to. She felt… it was silly to keep saying she felt safe, now, but she did. Perhaps… but no. She wouldn’t even think it. She couldn’t interrupt his life more than she already did, than she already had… She’d feel too incredibly guilty. She already felt guilty that he’d come immediately here… that he’d been away for so long and then immediately came to her. He must be so tired…

When he bypassed the dining room, at first she thought that he’d merely forgotten to turn… but then, how could he have? The servants were waiting by the door… they’d have motioned him into the room… M-Mutti… M-Mutti had always insisted upon such formal gestures when they had guests, even if the guests were just family. No sooner than she’d opened her mouth to question him, however, he was speaking, telling the servants to bring the food back to the kitchen. Th-the kitchen? She couldn’t go… It wasn’t proper for her… for them… to be there.

“C-Cousin… w-what…?” She began, but his grin stopped her. He knew what he was doing, even if he was confusing her to no end. She wouldn’t question him… truthfully, she was glad to not have to attempt to act at ease in the dining room. She couldn’t… the big table… so empty… A barely repressed sob shuddered through her, but she didn’t comment. How could she? She couldn’t explain… didn’t want to explain… shouldn’t truly need to explain… it was too difficult to find words, and when she did, oftentimes those words were berated as being too emotional for the present company.

She smoothed her skirt when she was set down on her feet again, but made no move to immediately sit. This was too… could she truly… it was… "I'd like to ask everyone who has not eaten yet to join us for dinner. This is your space, I know...but please let us dine with you this evening." Gilbert’s speech broke into her thoughts. She looked up at him, then around at all of the staff. Some were confused – most were confused – but they were slowly beginning to take seats. Hesitantly, she sat, smoothed her skirt again, and then folded her hands in her lap. Gilbert took the seat next to her; Sarah would sit on her other side once she’d served the two.

Feeling Gilbert’s pointed stare, and noticing that he’d begun to eat, Lili hesitantly picked up her fork. She… needed to eat… but she wasn’t hungry in the slightest. The servants around them were eating, though, and she couldn’t not eat. It would be rude… even if she wasn’t supposed to be here, she couldn’t offend her staff. She gingerly speared a carrot and brought it to her lips, chewing it slowly in effort to make it look like she was perhaps eating more than she was. Why she bothered, she wasn’t even sure… she knew It wouldn’t work – Gilbert had surely seen exactly how much she had been given, and would probably know precisely how much she ate. And if Gilbert hadn’t, Sarah would have, and would know. How troublesome… but, Lili was forced to admit, it would probably be the only reason she ate anything much more than a bite or two.

And she did eat more… much more than she’d eaten the past three days. She’d eaten all of the carrots and most of the potatoes and a bit of the roast… and some of the salad. No one could fault her for not eating more when she pushed her plate away. Recognizing Lili’s moods, the staff would decide to wait for a while, and then bring out the tart just before bedtime. Perhaps Lili would eat some of it then. It would surely get her mind off being alone again in the house once Herr Beilschmidt left.