Something You Can Keep (Basch-Lili)

[switzerland]

[Past thread: First anniversary of Lili's parents' deaths]

Did the Commodore not understand that this was the height of the training season? Was he so far removed from the process that he had forgotten that this meant that Basch would be figuring which new recruits he wanted for his commander's company of soldiers? Sure, it had been many years since the Commodore would have been directly part of that process but surely he still remembered how things were done. Basch needed to be there to make sure he wasn't going to get a bunch of stragglers. Really to make sure no one did because the stragglers were sent home or ran back home themselves. Better to have them leave now than mutiny or just die later. It was a very important process.

An important process that Basch had to miss for a day. Sure, that wasn't too long, but it would throw off everything. There would be less continuity from his commands and those of whoever replaced him that day. But Commodre Zwingli had asked a favor of a different Commodore who was actually still active and Basch had no choice. Orders were orders. But he didn't have to like them.

He held the box in his hand as he walked toward the door. This was the job of a postal worker or at the very least a lower ranked individual. But really, if it was so important to the Commodore, he could have just done it himself. This Lieutenant James Walser was important enough to ruin the schedule of his son but not important enough to actually bring his retired self (with nothing better to do) and deliver the package himself.

Basch knocked firmly. What all had he been told? The orphan of James and Lenora Walser was the only one living here. Her name was Lili and he was to give her this present to lift her spirits on the anniversary of their deaths. That was all very nice. But it wasn't his job.

[Lili Walser]

It had been all she could do to get out of bed that morning.

No sooner than she opened her eyes, the realization of what the date was struck her, and she'd curled on her side in a ball, weeping softly for the parents she'd lost. Finally, her maid came to fetch her for breakfast - and as such, she had to get dressed. Other members of her household couldn't be allowed to see her in just her nightgown and robe. But she shied away from the brightly colored gowns in her possession. There was only one color that fit this day, and that was black.

It pained her maid, Sarah, to see Lili like this. The poor girl. Not once yet this morning had she smiled... and it was easy for Sarah to tell that Lili was just seconds away from breaking down into tears again. But she didn't comment - Miss Walser wouldn't want her to. Instead, she just watched as the girl kissed her fingertips and gently placed them against the faces of her parents in a portrait. "Good morning, Mutti, Vati. Ich liebe dich." Her soft voice was choked with tears.

Breakfast had come and gone as a silent affair, and everyone had gone about their duties in the household. Lili was left to her own devices... never a good thing on a day with such sad memories. She found herself seated in the front parlor, sitting in her favorite windowseat, with a book that she was no more paying attention to than the rain paid to whom it drenched.

The knock on the door startled her out of whatever reverie she'd fallen into. Whoever could this be? No one had mentioned they were coming by today... So curious was she that she forgot about completely proper protocol - the butler would show her guests in to meet her - and stepped into the entryway just as Thomas opened the door. "Good day, Sir. How may I help you?"

Now she was just ever more confused. This young man was no one she knew. Perhaps he'd... gotten the wrong house. Yes... that had to be it. All the same, she stood in the shadow of the grandfather clock, watching silently, green eyes reddened from crying.

[switzerland]

The young lieutenant didn't have to wait long for a response. There was a man at the door to greet him almost immediately. That was good. A prompt staff was a sign that the people who employed them were likely agreeable. Or just really rich... Possibly even overly cruel. Okay so it didn't mean anything except that Basch didn't have to wait around forever to get a response. That was enough for him at this point. All of those other things weren't really his issue.

“My name is Lieutenant Basch Zwingli. The father of the current lady of the house served under Commodore Noah Zwingli,” he didn't state his relationship with this Commodore, though their names made some relationship clear. He was determined to treat this as an official assignment and not his father misappropriating him to running an errand at the military's expense. “Commodore Zwingli wanted me to present the lady with this gift as a token of his condolences for her losses last year.”

The words didn't mean that much to him. He was too fresh to directly have known any fallen soldiers. Both his parents were alive and he hadn't been close to any relatives that had passed away. Obviously he had the theoretical knowledge that losing a loved one could be very hard on a person. He mentally knew that once someone was gone, they could leave a void in a person's life. But he had never lived.

“If possible, I would like to present it to her myself. For the sake of being able to say that I know it got to her hands. No offense intended, I'm just a careful person.” And he didn't mean any offense. He didn't know this man to suspect him of anything. But if he put it directly into her hands, then the mission was fully accomplished. There would be no doubt about it.

[Lili Walser]

"Yes, Lieutenant, that's correct." Thomas's voice was stiff. He, at least, noticed Lili's presence behind him, and honestly sort of considered it bad form of this gentleman to come calling this day. It wasn't until he heard the word 'condolences' that his opinion changed... mostly. "That is very kind of the Commodore." His voice had lost none of its stiffness, however. "But I'm afraid - "

"Thomas." Lili stepped forward, laying a gentle hand on her butler's arm. "It's alright." Her voice was soft, sad. But her expression, when she turned toward Basch, held as little of that emotion as she could manage... which was to say, if he were to meet her eyes, he'd meet twin pools of green filled with sadness, loss, lack of understanding... and some sort of faint curiosity about him. "Won't you come in, Lieutenant?"

She didn't wait for his answer before looking up at Thomas. "Please, if you would, send for Sarah. Tell her to bring tea to the front parlor." She wouldn't take no for an answer here. It was her mother's policy - all visitors had tea in the front parlor, whether they meant to stay long or not. And Lili would hold to this policy for as long as she had a front parlor in which to take tea. That small task done, she took a step back, waiting for Basch to join her before she continued into the parlor. Thomas, as upright and stiff as ever, waited for Basch to enter before shutting the door and walking off to ring for Sarah - and the tea.

[switzerland]

Basch's eyebrow quirked up when the man at the door seemed to be about to deny him. The civilian world was very strange. In his world, he could expect that anyone of a lower designation would either listen to him or they better have a darn good reason not to. And he would be expected to do the same if someone of higher standing gave him an order. That was how it worked. In civilian society, the help of one man didn't need to indulge another of equal standing with his employer. Not that he knew whether or not his family stood equal to the Walser family, but his father's rank upon entering his very recent retirement had been hire than the late James Walser's...

Regardless, a younger lady spoke up, clearly the Lili he was looking for by the way she conducted herself. As she faced him, he was able to get a good look at her. What he saw unsettled him. Her eyes, roughly the color he saw when he looked at his own in the mirror, were hard to look away from. He didn't know what it was that he saw in them, but whatever it was, it felt very raw. When he did manage to look away, he was further disconcerted. But unlike her eyes, which seemed to show but a clue of a mystery within her, it was his own mind that became an enigma to him in that moment. The only way he could think to describe the feeling was that looking at her made him want to move. He didn't have any understanding beyond that.

This made the fact that she didn't take the gift and send him on his way more troubling. “My lady I don't think-” Yeah she didn't seem to be listening to him and he found himself unable to decline. He walked in through the door, defeated at least three times already in a game he couldn't name. “I don't wish to trouble you, Lady Walser, I'm not much in the way of company...” And he had training to get back to.

[Lili Walser]

"No, no... I insist." Lili spoke, her voice light, belying whatever turmoil still roiled inside her. "It's no trouble at all." Especially on a day like today. Not when it had always been Mutti's policy to start every visit with tea... and today was a day for remembering Mutti and Vati. And not when she'd rather not be left entirely to her own devices. "It's just down the hallway."

A faint smile crossed her lips as she looked back over her shoulder at him. "Besides that, I couldn't let you come all the way here and then go immediately back to whatever work you were doing." The smile didn't change, but with the next words, there was something infinitely more sad about it. "I know how caught up in work you military officers can get, and then you'll forget all about eating."

Apparently tea in the Walser household involved food - for when they got to the parlor, Sarah was setting out a tray of little cakes and sandwiches. There were also strawberries dipped in chocolate - a sight that caused Lili to blink in surprise. She hadn't known they - oh. It was her household's way of trying to cheer her up... that was so kind of them. She'd have to thank them for it later, somehow. She'd ponder that later on.

"Please, Lieutenant, make yourself at home." Lili gestured to one of the seats near the tea tray. Sarah had retreated to the farther corner of the room, taking a seat and beginning some mending. She was just there as a chaperone for the young lady of the house. Lili would pour the tea. She'd just trust that her hands wouldn't shake too much to do it. This was... this was Mutti's favorite tea set. No. She could do this. She'd done it before for Mutti and some of her peers, so there was no reason she couldn't do it now for Lieutenant Zwingli.

[switzerland]

His fate was sealed when she reasserted that he wouldn't be an imposition. Well she would likely come to regret that decision. Not that he had any feelings of inadequacy. He didn't think he was unworthy of her time or anything. But he did consider himself part of a different world. There were women within his profession, but they rarely spoke to him about anything he would consider feminine. His conversations with them were usually brief and professional. If he didn't know what kinds of things interested them, then there was no way he'd know much about civilian upper class women.

Basch followed her as she lead the way to her front parlor. At first he felt the need to correct her and say that he rather enjoyed his work, as much as any man should ever enjoy work, but her comment about forgetting to eat made him realize that it wouldn't make a difference. “Well... that can happen,” he agreed, “But there are some things worth skipping meals for. I don't usually each much even when I remember.” His body was definitely not the gluttonous type.

He had no idea what to think of Lili. She had only just met him and she already spoke to him as if he was accountable to her in some way. Or perhaps that was just his imagination. Maybe it just felt that way. But if he was feeling that way, then it was still likely her doing somehow. The only thing that made him feel accountable was a rank insignia, either the ones on his own shoulders or the higher ranking ones on someone else.

There was quite a spread waiting for them, much more than he had expected. So apparently he really was going to be here a while. He noticed the surprise on her face, but he didn't know what had caused it. When invited to do so, he took a seat. “Thank you,” he replied, still not feeling all that thankful.

It was his profession to notice when a person's hand wasn't as true as they wished it. The same techniques that applied to sword play casually alerted him to his hostess' slightly issue. It didn't seem unmanageable, but it did prompt him to speak in order to take some focus away from it. “Your house is quite something and I don't think I've ever seen a nicer tea set.” It wasn't like he knew whose it had been, he was just doing his best to converse.

[Lili Walser]

It would have made little to no difference whatsoever, had he attempted to correct her. Lili was fairly set in that mindset. After all, her Vati had done it - Mutti had always been after him to eat. And sometimes, she had to do the same for Gilbert, if he brought work home with him. So she'd seen a few cases - and his next words just cemented the idea in her mind. She wouldn't openly disagree with him... that wouldn't be polite, especially as he was a guest in her home. "But you must eat to keep your strength up, Lieutenant, isn't that right?" That was what she'd always heard - what people had told her every day the first few weeks after... after.

She waited until he was settled in his seat before she gingerly lifted the teapot and poured, her free hand resting lightly on the lid so that it didn't come off and shatter the set or splash tea everywhere. The trembles in her hand were all the more noticeable now that the teapot was in her grasp, but she still made no mention of it... and was indeed doing her best not to pay attention to it. If she did, if she did and then dropped it... she'd never forgive herself.

"Thank you, Lieutenant." Her voice was soft, sad - but grateful. It was rare that anyone would say something like that to her, for fear of bringing up memories. But... but memories were all she had, now, so she was grateful for them, even with every instant they made her sad. "It was Mutti's favorite set, out of all the ones Vati bought for her." Finished pouring the tea, she replaced the pot, and offered him the cup and saucer. She'd wait until he took it to gather her own and sit. Another soft, sad, small smile crossed her lips. "It was the one he gave her on their first wedding anniversary." Perhaps it wasn't entirely too proper to talk about these things with a relative stranger... but it... it oddly made her feel better to talk about it. She'd just keep tight hold on her emotions until he left, and then she could let her tears fall. That, at the very least, she was certain was not a proper thing to do in front of a guest.

[switzerland]

Basch didn't disagree. He wouldn't suggest skipping too many meals and it was important to eat when you could. But that didn't change that there were appropriate times to take a loss of comfort to the self in order to serve the larger calling. “That's true, but at times my personal strength may not be the most important thing.” Granted, he had skipped meals for reasons that were less substantial than he implied, but he felt he had a point to present.

His discomfort rose when she began to pour. Her hands were so shaky... He had come on the first anniversary, had he not? That implied there had been a year for her to come to terms with it. She did have a decent amount of composure, though... It was only her hands that betrayed her. The trained instincts within him wanted to believe that any obvious failure in composure was a total failure of composure, but other voices inside him said that she was succeeding in many other ways. Her voice didn't shake too much. She didn't seem afraid to talk. “Thank you,” he said once his cup was filled. He tasted the beverage inside, just a small sip despite the high quality, “It's very good.”

Even with his meager skills at proper high society conversation, Basch could tell he had driven right into a bad topic. Genius move on his part. Of course the house and the belongings would belong to the parents. Though this lady must be fast arriving to adulthood if she wasn't there already. In the absence of a good strategy, he decided to just say whatever felt natural. He took a deep breath and spoke, “That's a very admirable decision on your part. The set is a symbol of their lives,” he looked at the cup, worried that his words were too contrived sounding, like things he had picked up from other sources. He probably had. He looked at his cup more closely.

He set the cup down as his memory came back to him. “Oh, right, your gift.” That was a good distraction. “Do you have any customs against opening it while I'm still here?” He asked. Honestly he was curious as to what it was. He held it out to her a little.

[Lili Walser]

"But, Lieutenant..." How was there a way to put this? There had to be a delicate way to express the thought in her mind - most of which was centered around the idea that skipping meals because of work was a silly thing to do - that wouldn't offend her guest. "I-Isn't it true that the whole is only as strong as the individuals that form it...?" ... That was the best she could do. She'd leave it at that; concede the point if she had to, to keep from offending him, or offending him further, if that statement had had a negative impact. But it was true - even with embroidery. The sum of the piece, however long it would last in all its beauty, was only as strong as the dye in the threads, only as strong as the thread itself, as the fabric the stitches were placed on. It made perfect sense, in her mind.

"I... I am glad you like it." Even through all this, she could still recall proper table manners. And that was that she didn't drink until her guest had sampled his. Now that he had, however, she too took a small sip, savoring the taste. Oh, Sarah had used one of her favorite blends today.

Her lips curved in another small, sad smile; the smile was the only way she could hold back her tears. What he said... it was true. "Y-yes. Th-their lives, and how very much Mutti and Vati loved each other." She only hoped that she could find someone to share a love like that with. Even if her family, most of them, dropped strongly worded suggestions that she ought to marry for the good of the family name. "Thank you, Lieutenant... for... for understanding." Because, even if she hadn't known it until then... it was what she needed to hear.

"M-my gift?" She tilted her head slightly, confused, having forgotten all about it. "O-oh..." Slowly, she sat her teacup down, and reached out a hand for the box. "N-no... a-as long as you don't mind staying while I do..." This way, she could thank him properly in person - and he could take the thanks to the Commodore. She'd, of course, write a proper note as well, later. Another day. Her hand was too shaky today for her to trust her penmanship.