Post by Francis Bonnefoy on May 11, 2012 17:51:13 GMT -5
Francis took Arthur's shoulders firmly and drew away to face him. Francis' gentle expression became slightly sterner.
"No, Arthur." Francis' eyes were on Arthur's teary ones. "I failed and lost you to your grief and drink once. I will never make the same mistake again. Never again, if it's the only thing I can do right."
Leaning closer, he brushed away Arthur's tears with his finger. His hard gaze softened again, but the steel of his determination remained. He would not allow himself to give up again.
"It's not healthy for you, seizing every burden of the world to bear by yourself, even though not all of it is yours. Arthur, listen to me: the fire was not your fault. It was the noble's ill intentions that hurt all these children, all these people. He hurt you too. It's time you acknowledge his part in this."
Post by Francis Bonnefoy on May 11, 2012 18:41:19 GMT -5
Francis lay his cheek on Arthur's head. It was an awkward position, but he didn't care; he was as close to Arthur as he could get at the moment.
"I know," said Francis. "Thank you. I know how you resisted it. If you didn't do it for my sake, I would like to think you did it for the children. I'm sure they wouldn't want to see you broken. They need their champion to be strong."
Post by Francis Bonnefoy on May 12, 2012 18:14:14 GMT -5
Without realizing it, Francis held his breath. Here it was. Those words, about to spill from Arthur's lips - Arthur's greatest weapon, Francis' vulnerability. Francis felt as if his heart stopped.
"I - I - " Francis' mind scrambled for a reply, anything to keep Arthur from saying it. "I'm honored." He swallowed. "And I'm very glad that you think so well of me and what I try to do for you - " He cut himself off before he could go on.
He ran a trembling hand through Arthur's hair again, gripping the back of Arthur's shirt tightly with the other. What now? his mind kept asking.
Post by Cpt. Arthur Kirkland on May 12, 2012 18:35:41 GMT -5
Arthur's head droops, and he slackens in grip. The words come out from between his lips whether Francis wants them too or not -- whether Arthur wants them too or not.
"I-I love you--"
and before he knows it Arthur's sobbing again, hiding his face in his hands and curling up on himself, mumbling over and over again "I'm sorry I-I'm sorry--" Though even he's not quite sure what he's apologising for. For the relationship? For hurting Francis? For saying the words?
Post by Francis Bonnefoy on May 12, 2012 21:37:57 GMT -5
At the sound of those words, Francis released the breath he had been holding. It was almost cruel how firmly sincere they sounded, even crueler to follow it with apologies. Because how could Francis shut his heart out to that?
Francis buried his face in Arthur's hair, breathing deeply. Even under the clean, herbal smell of Arthur's salves and the faint traces of smoke, Francis could detect the scent that was wholly Arthur's. It was deceptively comforting. It was the scent of the only true home Francis had.
"You cannot mean that," said Francis softly. "I don't want you to hurt yourself again by believing I can give you what you need. I don't know if I even can."
Post by Cpt. Arthur Kirkland on May 13, 2012 15:30:31 GMT -5
"B-Bloody hell." He mutters, pausing, before shoving the other away. He shuffles away, turning to face the other, eyes defiant.
"Don't bloody say that. And you say I know nothing about love--" He wipes some tears from his face.
"You don't want me to hurt myself again by not being provided what I 'need'. Is that what you think love is about? I don't care about t-that. I-I love you because of who you are, because of it, not despite it -- not because of what y-you can give me--"
He slowly pulls himself to his feet, leaning against the wardrobe. He feels weaker than he realised.
"You were the only one that cared. You were the only one who kept after me, who cared for me, who loved me, even when I pushed them away, even when you found out how -- how horrible I can be----
You -- taught me how to love b-by loving me. It's.. It's why I walked away last time b-because I thought you were right that I was just... just -- using you -- but -- that night, I-I was terrified of scaring you off, and I bloody went and self-fulfilled that, didn't I, and-- " he buries his head in his hands "-- I've missed you so fucking m-much...."